weird afternoon

i am overcome by the feeling that there's something i was meant to do... and i am wasting time here.. but i have no clue what that something is... once in a while, i see some indications... like post-its from god... but dead-ends, non-starters, no-gos.... and in weird afternoons like this one, i am paralysed by fear that this is all that would ever be, and I just completely missed the point. Ok. Breathe in. Breathe out.