Skanda Ṣaṣṭhī – Day 2

Missing my Vadapalani Murugan!
Image from Murugan.org

We had some terrible news yesterday. A cousin of the extended family passed away due to Covid-19, after 3 weeks in hospital. He was 46. He was someone close to many irrespective of length of acquaintance or depth of relationship because of his exuberantly helpful nature. He went out of his way to make life easier for people he came in contact with. Job interviews, hospital trips, errands for the elderly – he was there for everyone. That such a person had to suffer a lonely end, with his family barely even able to see his body at the end, has come as a shock to his huge circle of friends and family.

But these are the times we live in. Dystopian, disorienting, depressing. The only refuge is the feet of the Lord. This is the time to raise our hands and say, “I surrender.” There is no shame in admitting, “This is beyond my understanding. Help!”

This Ṣaṣṭhī fasting has even more meaning for me now – I know not what every day brings, not even sure of what the next minute holds. This moment is all we have. And I pray that we live in this moment with courage, with love, with selflessness.

What do people take with them when they leave this body? Even the body is on loan for a few years. What can we then claim as our own? SO many things we accumulate – everything seems necessary, everything seems useful, everything seems important as markers of our identity – until nothing is useful anymore.

There’s a favourite game we’ve all played at some point – the desert island. If you are stranded on a desert island and can take only one thing with you, what would it be?

I’ve been thinking – if someone had to clear away my cupboard, what would they find? What would that say about me? And how much time we waste everyday planning what to wear, what to eat. I cleared out most of my cupboard.

My father would always quote Rajaji, “Simple living, high thinking.” So true and so relevant especially today when we’ve just defined our lives by how much we consume.

The period of fasting also makes us acutely aware of how much time we spend feeding this body – and how most of it seems unnecessary. The number of times we automatically pop something into our mouth without thinking. It also reminds me of the impact of each kind of food – I avoid processed food, packaged food. I evaluate if my body can take that amount of spice now. Isn’t buttermilk better for the stomach now than that cup of tea? Wouldn’t a cucumber cool my system more than that hot cup of – yes, tea? 😊

Fasting is so much more than denial. It makes me more aware of every morsel that goes into my body. I chew more slowly. I relish the food more. The flavours seem more intense. I feel the skin of the apple, crunch of the flesh, the sweet, the sour, the salt, the juice. Mindfulness comes automatically.

I cook for the family without tasting and it turns out okay. I feed my daughter but I don’t feel hunger. I speak softly, I remember to not get angry. I process more before reacting. I let go a lot more. I remember to not gossip. And I keep the Name in my heart.

I used to chide my mother for fasting often, saying she was spoiling her health but I realize now that it is a form of tapas, a forging of spiritual power. A powerful reminder to stay on the path.